I was talking to someone - trying to be a good friend at the library bathroom no less - when I realized that some people have become so used to living and wallowing in misery that they've actually started to begrudge others their happiness and think it rather abnormal for someone to be "too happy". Even worse, have deemed it impossible to be so and judge that there must be something obviously wrong with you if you are.

What a wonderful world...

I was asked the other day if I wanted to go see this movie Friday night. I've already seen it, I said. Then he suggested this other movie. Yep, that one too, I said again...

I'm sorry for lying. Twice. I HATE lying. I just didn't have the heart to say no.=(

What really ticks me off is seeing luxury cars and huge gas-guzzling SUVs with specialized GOVERNMENT plates.

They have no right. Most escpecially since majority of their "constituents" are living in the mire of poverty and barely holding on. What I want to do is get a baseball bat and proceed to smash those cars (with those power hungry useless sons of bitches inside it) into oblivion...

Err, okay, maybe not. But you get my point.

They have ABSOLUTELY NO right at all.

IT IS funny. I always develop this urge to throw my right shoe at the screen every single time. HELL, even my left one when I'm at it. YET, when it comes to that pivotal point in the movie - the one where the gods cooperate and the boy and girl finally have the happy ending they deserve - I drop all my cynicism and I end up as a giggling mush in a sugar-induced trance. Then again, as the last scene fades away and the credits begin to roll, I descend from my pink cloud and into reality and I start to feel the familiar tingle of frustration --- jealousy, sometimes loneliness, and I never fail to say to myself, "God, I'm such a naive idiot!" then proceed to swear off flufies from then on...

But I'm only ever humoring myself cuz I never really do. Whether I like it or not - deny it or otherwise - I still dream of being swept off my feet by the man of my dreams and I still wait for that perfect moment with a surreal movie-like quality when the music swells and I finally get my own happily ever after - my very own happy (ending) beginning, one that I truly deserve.

There. ;)

Laugh if you must.

So I was in one of my classes when this woman from the Ateneo Placement Office dropped by and started talking to us about the "FUTURE". She began blabbering on about further studies, career choices, resumes, and job interviews...

It totally freaked me out.

It's just that graduation - EVERYTHING - suddenly became all too real, all too fast...

The sound you're hearing is my precious bubble being popped.

Oy.

Nikki and I FINALLY tried Mag:net Cafe despite all the other Tuesday peeps being M.I.A. Before it became a cafe, Mag:net was just this quaint store that sold books, music, accessories, etc... then it apparently turned into something, well, more than that. It's now also an art gallery, restaurant, and basically one of those college-people-places where you can hang out, hear live music, and catch other types of performances.

To begin with, the reason why we went there last night was cuz we wanted to see Up Dharma Down live (again). But before their set, we ended up trying out the desserts and parking ourselves in a table amidst the oh-so postmodern works of art. Most of which are paintings that I, the lousy painter that I am, could do even in my sleep.

Which brings me now to my second not-so random thought: Your "art" is yours and no one else's. No one has the power to validate or invalidate your "art" but you and you alone.

Anyway, by the time the band was to perform, the upper room (we were in the ground floor) was already overflowing with people that I, the cheapskate I'm sometimes known to be, refused to shell out cash just to stand up and hear music that I can already hear from where I was sitting and very comfortably too. Haha. But everything worked out eventually cuz the owner came over and talked to us a bit and said that if we want to squeeze ourselves upstairs, we could and for free too. Awesome. Looking forward to really trying out the food with the rest of my iTues friendlies...



And on another note, Starbucks is gonna be "brewing soon" near where I live. I'll just have to cross the street, walk a few steps and I'm there (it's actually on the building right beside Mag:net). BOO-YAH! Two Starbucks in Katips and wadayaknow, one of them's even gonna be my neighbor. It'll be great for those thesis all-nighters that I'm foreseeing as early as now. Hmm, what was the world like before Starbucks? ;)

My left hand got the bitter taste of how nasty this world we live in is. The scratches and the scrapes on its skin proof of how utterly disgusting people can be.

IT IS SAD, I asked in here a few weeks ago why some people seemingly have no decency that they can commit a crime against their fellow human being... and now I'm asking it again. Humanity can make you vomit sometimes. The ugliness of it all. It's depressing, the amount of evil in this world? It's really depressing.

You see, us girls celebrated Nikki's b-day last night. We went out (to Benini's [edit: Bellini's] then Jack's Loft) then hung out at Nikki's place afterwards. Before 2 am, Mia decided to call it a night and said she was going home, as I did. We were walking together towards my condo and her dorm (which was really just a couple of blocks away) when a car came speeding down from the corner. We were on the right side of the road but this car (which should've been on the left lane) was coming towards us, fast. Thinking that the driver was drunk, I shouted:

"MIA! MOVE!"

And I saw her rush to the side, escaping the car. Then before I knew it, the car was coming towards me. Then it was slowing down. Then everything was a blur...

I first thought that I knew the people in the car... some prankster, jackass friends I know. I mean, it happens. Me, just walking down the street then some car pulls up and a head would pop out from the window to scare me shitless... funny friends playing a cruel trick. But it wasn't a trick; and it's sure as hell they weren't my friends.

Honestly everything happened so fast. I thought they were after me. But I realized what they truly wanted when I felt the hard tug on my arms. I was carrying some book I borrowed from Niks on my left hand and my bag on my right hand. Then this man, in light blue polo shirt (it was all I saw), emerged from the window of the backseat and grabbed my bag. It really happened all so fast.

I was left shaking, thinking, did that just happen? Shock and fear came shortly after... combined with an unwelcome rush of adrenaline and I became a quivering mess till I reached the safety of Nikki's 10th floor condo. I remember Mia was holding my hand the whole way up and it was so tense... tense and cold. A few minutes later, I calmed down, thought about what I lost, what I should do, who to call, etc, etc.

I lost my cellphone. But more than that, I lost the pictures and the contact numbers of EVERYONE I know inside that cellphone. I lost the cell number I've had for more than 5 years! My wallet was also in the bag. Bad enough that I lost a couple thousand bucks, I also lost my license so now, I can't even drive. My Ateneo school ID was there too and I'm pretty much useless without it, having no access to school facilities like the library or the net labs. These among other things inside my bag.

My brush with organized crime. SIGH.

It really doesn't feel good to know that "evil people" are going through your things... that strangers with obviously far from noble deeds know now what you look like, what your name is, what your friends look like, where you live, what your class schedule is, have keys to your condo, your house, etc. It's paranoia-inducing, that's all I can say. Fear is not something I enjoy dealing with.

But I should be thankful and I am. God's keeping an eye on me still. I'm safe... a little traumatized but still safe and generally unharmed. Besides, think about it... I did lose things but they're nothing compared to what those criminal sons of bitches lost because they just sold their shriveled dark souls to the devil. After eventually dying a slow and painful death, they'd enter the gates of Hades where satan will welcome them with open arms... then they'd be torched in scorching flames while being devoured by worms for forever and a day - over and over and over again. All that just for a few thousand bucks and a couple of items (important and memorable to me but) pretty much useless to them.

There will be justice. Enjoy hell you #@$%ing pricks.